Dating in today’s society can be a bit of a challenge – finding a Tamil partner even more so. With our busy lifestyles and limited social connections, it can be cumbersome to meet new people outside of work or typical Tamil functions. And with a growing younger generation integrating to Western societal norms, the idea of arranged marriage may be unappealing to many progressive-minded Tamils.

Despite this shift in cultural values, there is still a strong taboo against online dating within the Tamil community. I say this even though I am certain that many of you have ventured into the world of online dating via e-Harmony, OKCupid, POF, Match.com and other mainstream dating sites.

I understand the reluctance. Admitting that you are on an online dating site can come off as a bit desperate on your part. But the reality is unless our careers give us the chance to come across a wide variety of Tamils, it is a challenge to meet new people. With the launch of myTamilDate.com, we are given the opportunity to meet like-minded Tamils who are searching for the very same thing you are – love and romance!

With online dating still somewhat stigmatized due to our perceptions, it can be difficult to take that step outside of our comfort zone. Given the fear of being recognized and judged by our close-knit Tamil community, for those courageous enough to sign up, only the guise of online anonymity allows one to safely venture forth and see what prospects are out there. And while discretion may be necessary, there has to be some level of trust when it comes to communicating with someone – especially when your common goal is to find a romantic partner.

If you have been talking to someone for a long period of time and they are hesitant or unwilling to share their picture, then the basic trust factor is not there. It’s best to keep your options open and move on. Chances are, if someone is making a fuss about sharing their picture to someone they’ve been communicating for a while, then they are more than likely going to make a fuss about meeting in person. And frankly who has time for that?

If all is well and you both continue to communicate, then try talking on the phone before making the attempt to meet. Sometimes the chemistry you felt through messaging back and forth will not be there when you actually talk to that person. When good phone communication has been established and you are both ready to take that step, go ahead and meet them in person!

If online dating is new to you, it may take a while for you to adjust to the whole process. When getting to know someone, try not to jump at meeting them immediately. Communication, comfort and a degree of trust is important and needs to be established before any physical interaction can take place. Getting to know someone is a process. And with online dating, there is a lot of uncertainty.

If you are new to online dating, don’t feel rushed into doing something if you are not ready. Having said that, there is always a next step that has to be taken. If you are unwilling to move from the initial stages of messaging back and forth after a month of consistent communication, then you are just wasting your time.

Keep in mind that online dating is different for different people. There is no one-size-fits-all manual. Sometimes it requires patience when getting to know someone and trying to take the next step. Don’t be afraid to say what you want or don’t want, and don’t be afraid to state what you expect. If you are not on the same page with the other person or a compromise cannot be met, then simply move on. After all, as the saying goes there are plenty of fish in the sea!

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