“They destroyed our nation. They are rapists. They are murderers. They stole our land. They killed our people.” My mom would always repeat this to me. She would tell me stories about the war and how brutally everyone had suffered. I, too, believed all her stories.

The relationship between mothers and sons in our community sparks many interesting and varied debates in my social circle. It is no surprise that Tamil mothers spoil their sons to no end and hold on to the traditional gender roles defined by Tamil society (and elsewhere).