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By now, most of you have probably seen the video “White Lady Speaks Jaffna Tamil” popping up all over your news feeds. In fact, some of you may have even taken the time to comment with words of praise, amazement and for some, shame from not being able to speak Tamil as well as the ‘White Lady’ in the video. Similarly, I shared some of those sentiments. Unlike languages such as French and Spanish, the Tamil language is not one that people of other backgrounds generally show interest in learning. Heck, I don’t think it’s even possible to say that Tamils across the board have an interest in learning the language that has such close ties to their identity.

So it was refreshing to see something so unexpected. As a Tamil who can read, write and speak the language I appreciated the effort she has put into being fluent in Tamil and promoting the value in learning it—it’s not an easy task by any means.

But despite this feeling of appreciation, there was another emotion that I felt far stronger when I observed the reactions to the video. It was discomfort.

It was the same feeling that I used to have when I was younger and attended Tamil functions where the sole non-Tamil man or woman would be seated at the front and gushed over the way we gush over celebrities. There have been instances in which these individuals had an integral role to play in a particular celebration. But then there were those occasions where their inclusion seemed to be an effort to appeal to, and be accepted by, the mainstream culture. I used to feel discomfort then and I feel it now.

I feel this way because I view the reactions from fellow Tamils as a need to seek validation from the mainstream communities. Seeking validation is different from sharing and informing other communities about Tamil culture, which I fully embrace.  If it took a video entitled “White Lady Speaks Jaffna Tamil” to make some Tamils feel ashamed about not being fluent in a language that they most likely had every opportunity to learn and appreciate, that’s discomforting. Many of my closest friends are from non-Tamil backgrounds and show complete pride in their language and culture despite being born and raised in the west. They didn’t need a “White Lady Speaks ___” type of video to start to appreciate a language that was so close to their identity.

To add to this feeling was the title itself – “White Lady Speaks Jaffna Tamil”. I wonder how members of the Tamil community would react if others shared and reacted with praise and amazement over a video with the title “Brown Lady Speaks British English”.