Let’s talk about Facebook for a minute. Facebook is filled with people who for some reason feel they need to radiate an “I’m an idiot” persona. They choose to revel in the illusion of status through an artificially constructed image, when it only draws attention to their underlying security.

Tamils are no stranger to this. In fact we’re more guilty of this than most groups. Below I’ve listed the two most annoying types of Tamils on Facebook – the ones who really aggravate me.

1. Tamil Female Attention Seekers

Here we have the young Tamil female camera whores. If you want to admire yourself every ten seconds then go ahead… but for a good laugh check out the comments on these pictures.

A typical scenario: Imagine a girl named Sinthu. Her appearance is inconsequential. She goes to the bathroom, takes a picture with her camera and uploads it to Facebook to join the five other pictures she took just a minute ago.

Now her two friends, Aarani and Ganga, start commenting on it. The following is how this conversation unfolds:

Aarani: OMG you’re sooo gorgeous!! Like look at those hips, I’d kill for that figure girl
Sinthu: Aww thanks, you’re the pretty one trust me.
Aarani: No you are! <3
Ganga: I agree with Aarani, you’re soo damn fine!
Sinthu: Aww you’re a cutie, I wish I had hair like yours!
Aarani: Thanks hun, but you know you have the best hair!

These girls comment on pictures so they can be complimented in turn. Then upon receiving the compliment, they attempt to deny it to show modesty. If I was Sinthu I’d be like “Bitch, I know I’m damn fine. I know you ain’t. I don’t want to be a liar and say you look good because you don’t. I don’t care if you kill yourself after this, but bitch please that’s the truth.”

I wouldn’t actually say that because it’s kind of harsh. But it’s the right emotion for this situation. Self-esteem is an issue everywhere. But in the grand scheme of things these comments do nothing to repair your insecurities. You’re still going to go home, look in the mirror and ponder all your flaws.

To develop true confidence in yourself, start taking the mature route and appreciating your non-physical assets. Don’t whore for attention and don’t seek false praise to boost your ego and validate your self-esteem.

2. Tamil Male Wannabe Thugs

Do I even need to ask why some Tamil guys take pictures of themselves in the mirror with their shirts off? All I see is a desperate plea for attention. Then there are the Tamil guys who think they’re talking street. Never mind that the most street they’ve ever seen is Call of Duty 4.

That’s not even the worst of it. Facebook wars are the worst. I see it all the time. You’ve got one Tamil tough guy beefing with another Tamil tough guy. You’ve got one tough guy saying, “I’ll crack your head open like I did to that kid last week.” The other tough guy will respond, “I’m bringing my boys from Btown. You’re done.”

Let’s revert to a scenario again. Imagine two guys named Tharshan and Vijay. The following is their conversation:

Tharshan: wag1 dawg, we gonna run some mission tingz tmrw ya dig
Vijay: nigga please I run top dawg missionz like dem hoes
Tharshan: Yee dawg you feelin me
Vijay: aii nigga I tell the mandem to come down. we run this shit through the f***ing south
Tharshan: Yea let the mandem know about the mission. shit is soft tingz. im out ez
Vijay: ye nigga peace

Firstly for the uninformed, “wag1” is slang for “what’s going on?” Its origins are in Jamaica. This conversation clearly indicates there are people who do not realize “street” is not English.

Next, what’s up with “mission tingz?” Getting liquor from the LCBO without ID doesn’t qualify as a mission. You’re not in the CIA. You’re buying beer not fighting a war.

And no, I don’t “dig” you. I don’t have a shovel and I didn’t know you were buried underground. Now that I think about it, I should have known. You speak like you have brain damage and that’s what happens when you’re underground and oxygen deprived. I see that stupid look on your face and now I know – you’re brain dead.

Is it too much of a burden to articulate oneself in a language people can understand? This isn’t just on Facebook. A lot of this dialogue can happen person to person. Either way, it’s stupid. It’s bad enough that you can’t speak Tamil. At least learn to speak English. Properly.

And if you’re Tamil, below the age of 25 and you don’t fall into either of these categories… Congratulations! You’re an endangered species.