Sex. Such a taboo word and topic in the Tamil community and one that is seldom openly discussed, even amongst friends. It’s not surprising that this is the case given that our culture still promotes the one partner for life rule, no dating until your parents decide they want you out of the house by getting married and the absolute no-no when it comes to pre-marital sex. The reality is, talking about sex is important regardless of what your individual views might be around the topic. When the conversation is completely dismissed and ignored, people don’t effectively learn what it means to have a healthy and pleasurable sex life and what precautions should be taken when being sexually active.

In an effort to understand the sexual behaviour and attitudes of young Tamils today, an anonymous survey was conducted with random respondents, mainly residing in Toronto, via an online survey. 19 Males and 19 Females, fairly evenly split between the ages of 18-35, participated. Of course, the sample size is very small and the study is informal, so interpret the results accordingly. Here’s what the survey shows:

• Most Tamils are having sex before marriage (58%)
• Tamil females engage in pre-marital sex more than Tamil males (74% of our female respondents had pre-marital sex, whereas  42% of males indicated the same)
• The average number of partners for Tamil females who had engaged in pre-marital sex was 3
• The average number of partners for Tamil males who had engaged in pre-marital sex was 5
• More female respondents over 24 had engaged in pre-marital sex than male respondents over 24

So what? This informal study just shows that the attitudes and behaviour of young Tamils towards pre-marital sex may not be what the community and parents expect, which is not a bad thing. It simply means that we need to be open-minded to the changing values in the community and have the necessary conversations to ensure that we promote a healthy approach when it comes to sex. Because whether you like it or not, your kids are doing it and potentially with multiple partners.