On many occasions, I have witnessed fellow Tamil parents speak to their children in English when out and about in public, at parties and so forth.  On occasions, I am guilty of this myself.

As a child I attended an English medium school and was constantly reminded to speak only in English at school with my classmates; we were even reprimanded for speaking in Tamil. I grew up speaking mainly in English with my friends.

Still, I was lucky to have learned Tamil at school and have kept up my language skills through reading and talking to family. Although I am very fluent in Tamil, I too have fallen into a pattern of resorting to English to explain my ideas or when engaging in discussions. So it is quite easy to get into the same habit with my children. Yet I try my best to speak exclusively in Tamil to my kids at home.

When I chat with others about this dilemma, some have claimed that it is easier to communicate with their children in English so as not to confuse them, especially when they are trying to master English. It is surprising that even with research showing the benefits of children learning multiple languages, many parents fear that speaking in their native language will impede the child’s development.

If you are wondering how many languages children learn at one time, research shows that children can learn more than one language easily if taught simultaneously. It really depends on the amount of exposure they get and the amount of effort parents want to put into it.

My own parents speak to my children in English at times as they worry the little ones won’t understand. I have had to constantly remind them that my kids understand Tamil perfectly fine and although they may not respond in Tamil, they will only learn to do so if they get the opportunity. I had looked to the grandparents to be role models to instill Tamil values in them, so it is a bit of a disappointment when they constantly resort to English!

A concern that resonates with parents is that children will end up mixing the languages, or it’s easier for them to master one language before learning another. However, learning two languages at home does not cause confusion or a language problem in young children. The key, as stressed by Ontario’s Best Start Resource Centre, is that children learn language best from people who speak that language well. So if you don’t speak Tamil very well, then you may be better off using the language you are most comfortable in.

My eldest child pleasantly surprises me from time to time with a full blown response in Tamil. “எனக்கு அதுல பைத்தியம்” she said one day when asking for something. Never mind her creativity in trying to get what she wanted, I was elated to hear her speak in Tamil.

I know I am not alone in feeling the frustrations of your children not being able to speak fluently in the native language. Here are some great strategies from the Best Start Resource Centre (Ontario):

Talk to Your Child in Your First Language

• Talking with your child in your first language gives your child the best language model. You can better explain ideas, use more complicated words, share jokes, ask questions and be more spontaneous in your first language.
• Keep speaking your first language, even if your child starts daycare or school and even when he/she answers in another language.
• When your child starts daycare or school, share words from your first language with the teacher that your child may use to talk about needs or feelings (e.g., “water”, “hurt”, “potty”). This helps the teacher understand your child.
• Talk about your family and your culture with your child. Talk about recent or past family events and about traditional music, clothing or food.

Read Books in Your First Language

• Read books often. Read to them in your first language.
• Tell stories that you have learned as a child in your first language. Books and storytelling help children develop listening, thinking, language and reading skills.
• Talk about the pictures in the book. Take turns talking about these pictures. Your child will learn new words in your first language.
• Keep reading materials around the house (comic books, magazines, cereal boxes).
• Get a library card and visit the library often. Books are available in a variety of languages.

Play and Sing With Your Child in Your First Language

• When your child plays, he/she learns to take turns, follow directions and use words in his/her first language while having fun.
• Meet with friends and family to give your child more chances to use his/her first language in fun activities.
• Sing traditional songs in your first language. Explain new words and talk about the meaning behind the songs.
• Listen to songs and music in your first language or both languages, over and over. Children learn from and love the repetition.
• Look for children’s programs in community centres or at the library that offer activities in your first language.

If all of this is overwhelming, then here is a great simple tip from Adam Beck, an educator, parent and founder of the Bilingual Monkeys:

“ One simple thing you can do to raise a bilingual child is simply to read aloud to them every day.”

Just keep practicing and one day they will surprise you with a full sentence.

Related articles:
Why It’s Important to Learn Tamil
Why Don’t Tamils Speak Tamil?
Tamil, Our Universal Language